Dear Readers,
I've been away for a while, and this is likely to continue for now since I have a dissertation and three essays to complete for my master's degree, while at the same time holding down my job, so I've been rushed off my feet and am likely to continue being so, but I've managed to find a quiet moment to get back to you guys. Don't worry, normal service will resume, but for now, let's get into the blog subject.
As many of you are aware, and just like many of you, I'm a supporter of Johnny Depp, and as a survivor of a female abuser myself, it never fails to aggravate me to see mainstream feminists completely dismiss, ignore, slander, or deride male abuse victims and their (our) supporters, while at the same time maintaining a stranglehold on public discussion and action on domestic and sexual abuse (e.g. #metoo), resulting in male victims of abuse being discarded and continuously left to rot by society.
Recently I came across a thread on the subject, and since some of you Depp supporters are feminists yourselves as such, I thought I'd take a look.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskFeministWomen/comments/hs2ueg/why_arent_feminists_outraged_about_amber_heard/
The thread fortunately seems to be supportive of, or at least sympathetic to, Johnny Depp.
although I think feminism needs to speak out more on male victims of abuse, and men being falsely accused of abuse and rape, I think the genuine reason is that... they/we are afraid of the consequences of us making it a big deal.
at a glance, it might seem like its because we care less. thats not the reality. we do care, a lot. but there are anti-feminists who continuously invalidate feminism and victims of abuse by bringing up victims of false accusations. you can go on ANY youtube video regarding abuse or rape, and you will find comments of people bringing up false accusations. i have unironically seen people believe that up to 90% of all rape cases.... are false!
i think some of us fear that if we get outraged about cases like these, we invite anti-feminists to continue their hateful agendas
This surprised me, since I was mostly under the impression that denialism among feminists was based on agendas of huffpo journos, womensaid and politicians such as J*ss Ph*llips trying to protect their livelihoods (or some, out of mere spite and in the name of petty revenge).
I'll be blunt though, this isn't good enough.
An innocent man has had his name tarnished and his career ruined publicly, after being violently assaulted and emotionally abused by his wife. It's a disgrace, and to blame antifeminists is a cop-out.
Helping male abuse victims doesn't take away from women's rights. A man being abused by his girlfriend or wife does nothing to help women's rights. Indeed, it's often feminists who tell men that "equality isn't like a cake, just because someone has greater rights than you doesn't mean you lose yours". So why does it change in these circumstances?
It won't set back the progress made for female abuse and rape victims, there's no evidence for that. If some male abusers pretend they're the wounded party, unfortunately female abusers do that too, so that's generally an abuser thing. If you want to prevent abusers playing the wounded animal (as Heard did), you have to educate yourself on the subject, before educating anyone else.
Telling the truth, if anything, strengthens your position. Let me give a personal example. When I was 16, after a long period of abuse, I punched a bully in the face enough to give him a severe nosebleed. Afterwards, I owned up to what happened, and I was completely honest about it, I didn't get punished for it. If anything, the guy I punched and I both made up and that was it.
The consequences of supporting male abuse victims of female abusers may disrupt and discomfort those who are wedded to the dogma of "men bad women good" but since these are people's lives we are talking about, that's a small price to pay. If you truly DO want a world in which people don't care about gender, then have the spine to stand up and be counted, and prove that you DO care about both false accusations (also a weapon used by female abusers), and male abuse victims of female abusers.
If as a feminist you support male victims of female abuse and do so without inhibition, you show yourself (and your movement) to be courageous, honest, and full of integrity. If as a feminist however, you continue to allow or encourage society to leave male abuse victims to rot, then you will expose your true colours as being without courage, moral fibre or integrity.
The choice is yours.
Sincerely,
The Invisible Man
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